Some things are better left unsaid.

I've had a whole week to think about what I should say in this post.

To say that one of my fears was realized is an understatement... And, as of right now, I'm in between this vast chasm of feelings. I'm angry, because my trust was betrayed and because of how hypocritical this has all seemed. I'm more or less appeased because I was the one chosen, the one loved, the one whom which a future can be foreseen. And yet I don't feel completely happy. I feel like there's more to the puzzle. There's more to figure out. There's more trust to be taken away.

I guess these feelings come from being vastly insecure in some aspects.

Why? Is one question that comes to mind. My Latina blood screams for revenge, to hurt that bastard, to make him feel what he made me feel and, yet, I don't have the energy for it. I feel like my love for him makes me not want to hurt him as he did me. That sounds horrible, doesn't it? I feel like I'm not respecting myself. But, respecting myself would mean losing him -something I also don't want to go through.

So, I'm giving up self-respect for a relationship I feel good in. Somehow, I don't know if this is such a good trade-off for a man who not only cheated but didn't trust me enough. What am I supposed to do? At least he chose me. But he also never planned on telling me. Which... brings me to this blog's title. Are things better left unsaid? If you think about the big picture, then yes. There are things people just aren't ready to deal with. But what if a relationship is at stake? Someone's feelings? Someone's happiness? When should we draw the line?

Lying is a dangerous game to play.

You will most likely be found out. In which case, why do it in the first place? When I asked this question, the answer I received was "fear". Somehow... I don't think this is a sufficiently robust answer -given the situation. Or, if you think about it, any situation. Fear shouldn't be a driving point to someone's lying. That's just another pathetic excuse that falls into the same queue as all the others.

And, once someone is found out, what should one believe? Should one just assume that everything is a lie begging to appease its listener? For some, my approach to this could seem almost cold, stringent. Yet... as I stated above, when am I supposed to draw the line? Is there a line? The world is full of lies and its liars and we have to live amongst that and sift through all the twisting lines and have faith. We just have to believe what we are being told is, indeed, a truth. We can't prove otherwise, can we? Not until it's too late to completely fix a situation.

Which begs the question.... Is it ever too late to fix something?

Gabs

Song of the moment: "The Blower's Daughter" -Damien Rice