Also, it's almost Christmas! Christmas is my favorite holiday of the year mostly because of my two younger brothers. Every year they wake me up at an insane hour (usually five or six am), jump on me and drag me out of bed. "Santa was here! Santa was here!" The eldest of the two would lean over the rails of the stairs and gawk at the presents under the tree. When we were all assembled, they would run out, the excitement in their eyes, and start ripping at the paper on their respective presents. Blue and Red has been the wrapping paper of choice for as long as I can remember and even the youngest, who has cerebral palsy, is used to this system of present separation.
Around ten they would be exhausted but still cradling the "favorite" amongst that year's haul. They'd play with these toys for weeks! But because they're almost eight, this magic is slowly waning. A day ago I had to make the eldest write a letter to Santa because he hadn't even written one. Both my boyfriend and I guilted him into it. "Santa doesn't give presents to kids who don't send letters!" one of us said. "Yeah, I sent mine by email weeks ago." Unwilling at first, he finally asked with some trepidation, "Is it gonna get there on time...?"I smiled and assured him I'd send it priority mail.
The other brother, much more innocent for a lot of different reasons, is still safe from the daunting reality of parents being Santa. But the other is, I'm sure, on his last Christmas as a "believer." I guess I'll have to watch The Polar Express with him until he can't take it any more. ;D
But for now I feel as if my babies are growing up too fast for me (and trust me, college does not help one bit). I wonder if this is how moms feel when a crucial age is passed. When kids stop believing in things like Santa and the Tooth Fairy. For now, I'll enjoy every moment to the fullest. Every smile and laugh and wonder-filled eyes as they gaze at the things the mystical and jolly old man left them.
Maybe next year it won't be the same. Maybe he'll find the presents stashed in mom's closet. Maybe one of his friends will tell him. Either way, I've reached a conclusion. Growing up is difficult. Watching your brothers or children grow up is worse. However, curiosity will always exist, happiness, wonder and a little innocence. I'll just have to enjoy it in different ways.
Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays/Happy Anythingyoubelievein!
And, as a funny little quip: http://isitchristmas.com/
Song of the moment: "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" -Bright Eyes
23.12.10
19.12.10
18.12.10
No. Comment. (lol)
"Your blog is looking very pink....and feminist." -my boyfriend
Oh yes, yes it is. ;D
Just for you, babe:
Song of the moment (ironically enough): "My Heart Belongs to Daddy" -Julie London
10.12.10
The Vagina Monologues.
"The Vagina Monologues is made up of a varying number of monologues read by a varying number of women . Every monologue somehow relates to the vagina, be it through sex, love, rape, menstruation, mutilation, masturbation, birth, orgasm, the variety of names for the vagina, or simply as a physical aspect of the body. A recurring theme throughout the piece is the vagina as a tool of female empowerment, and the ultimate embodiment of individuality."
My Vagina Was My Village:
http://www.imow.org/wpp/stories/viewStory?storyId=1114
Ok, this isn't the monologue I'm performing but it's my favorite. There is something so moving about the words and the subject matter and I cannot read it without crying.
I believe it to be a staple when attending and all-women's college that you act in the Vagina Monologues at least once. I am immensely proud to be able to have the opportunity to do so on my first year here. The collection itself is a marvelous testament of what it is to be a woman and all the things that can go both terribly wrong and amazingly right. It's about womankind and universal experiences. If you haven't read them, I highly encourage you to do so. You'll laugh and cry and even get angry.
Plus, it's on Amazon.
Song of the moment: "Cooler Than Me" -Mike Posner
7.12.10
Oh, darlin', don't you ever grow up...
Yes, yes. Scold me for not coming back sooner. Really, I blame it on college. However, it was more me procrastinating than anything else. When we left off certain dramas had happened, I was about to go off for liberal college X and life was just being interesting to me. However, about four months have passed and in college, four months is a life time (or, really, just a semester). Chinese, Philosophy, Art History and Geology. Good God. I didn't know what I was getting myself into.
Of course, my severe procrastination and undiagnosed ADD don't help. Much less the WiFi accessible campus with its beautiful trees and amazing scenery. A girl cannot concentrate on the likes of Kant and Gao Laoshi (one of three Chinese teachers -the one that hates me.) if there is so many other things to explore! And, trust me, I haven't lacked in the adventure department. I'll keep hush on those but know that I've tried to behave like the normal college girl I am and that sometimes lends itself to some drunken insanities (e.g. laying on a road in 24ºC weather à la "The Notebook" with oncoming traffic on both sides). Although it's not all about the booze or the parties. Just getting on a bus and getting lost can be the most rewarding experience.
And so, college has taught me a lot of things. It has taught me that I'm NOT a philosopher (no matter how hard I try). It has taught me that I can be a decent actress (hellz yeah, I was in my first play!). It has taught me that I am kind of OK in the "living pseudo-alone" arena and that I'm a lot less fearful than I thought. I've challenged myself and failed and aced and realized I just want to keep trying. I'm just
beginning to discover and figure out who I am. I'm going to break rules and follow them and just be who I am supposed to be.
Even in the dead of winter.
Have you ever seen snow fall all around you?
It's one of the most peaceful experiences you can take part in.
So, I'm changing. Like the leaves that changed and showed me the most beautiful Fall I've ever seen.
Sometimes I wish I knew what the future held but the not knowing, the tripping up and getting up and starting all over again seems so worth it.
And so I leave you with three little pieces of advice:
Don't plan things!
Go with the flow.
Let the world surprise you.
...and you'll find yourself in the process.
Song of the moment: "When the Saints Go Marching In" -Louis Armstrong
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